Sharon Rose, age 29 and in the second quarter of life answers the question:
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LIFE PRESENTLY? DO YOU WANT MORE? WHY? Right now in this moment, I love my life with every ounce of my being. I am ecstatic about the opportunities that present themselves, in such a deep gratitude for the mentors I have had along the way, and in love with the creative process of living a life fully embodied. The amount of love and support that surrounds me is overflowing personally and interpersonally. For the first time in my life, I am balanced—giving and receiving in exponential ways. I experience life moment-to-moment while holding a vision for something greater in the future, whenever the future chooses to arrive. I trust in divine timing, the idea that all is happening exactly when it is meant to.
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Vulnerability is easy in the first blush of love. . . prior to the onset of those emotional papercuts destined to occur in any long-standing relationship. Between my husband, Doug, and me we have over 65 years working as therapists with couples and individuals. One would think vulnerability would come easy to such trained professionals. And it is true that we intellectually know how to fight fair, use “I” statements and express vulnerable feelings. But we, too, have personally experienced from each other those emotional papercuts that occur over time, and like everyone else, we can automatically move into self-protection when we sense emotional danger. For unlike our canine companions who love unconditionally because of their extraordinary ability to “be in the moment”, we humans have a tendency to store up every slight that occurs especially in our relations that matter the most. And therefore, ironically, it is our most important relationships that ultimately invite the greatest defenses.
So what are our chosen defenses? At times of emotional distress, Doug is likely to seek refuge in an emotional cave, hoping to calm himself and avoid further pain. I, being sensitive to abandonment, pursues him, hoping for connection and validation of my experience. The more I pursue, the deeper he can move into his cave, a dance step that leaves us both frustrated and hurting. What Advice Would You Give Someone Starting a Business that You Wish Someone Had Given You?
My advice to anyone just staring out on this endeavor of entrepreneurship is quite simple. “Go!” Run fast, run hard, learn fast, fail hard. . . it’s the only true road to success. Entrepreneurship can look glamorous from the outside. Setting our own schedule, being your own boss, making as much money as you want rather than being told what you are worth. . . it all sounds fabulous! The reality? It’s a grind. A grind, day-in and day-out. It’s blood, sweat, and tears; lack of sleep and insomnia gut-wrenching doubt and worry. It’s also passion, love, energy, excitement, newness, adventure, surprises, and freedom. I remember in the early days of my business, wanting to always do the right thing, when really it was simply about doing something. As long as you are moving in a forward direction, no matter how slowly, you are moving. As we learned in physics class, an object in motion remains in motion. And, even when the inevitable setbacks occur, and they will, you know with that strong and resilient entrepreneurial mind of yours, you are stronger than your setbacks. Your setback is a setup for a comeback. When you get knocked down-the client pulls their order, the check doesn’t clear, someone has a change of heart—it’s all party of the story. It’s all part of the lesson. At U & Improved one of the phrases we say most often, and repeatedly, is “Trust the process.” Trust everything is unfolding as it should. Trust the right people will walk in, and out, of your life. Trust your clients are out there waiting for you, you just haven’t met them yet. Trust you are stronger than anything life or your business throws at you. It’s simply about going--moving forward and charging ahead --even when you are tired. Even when you feel beat up. Even when it doesn’t seem fair. Even when you question why you started this. Even when quitting seems blissful. Even when you crave a boss to just give you the answers and tell you what to do so you don’t have to think so much, and so hard, each and every day. Those are the days that build your determination, your resilience and your drive. So, just run fast and hard, and go.
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